Would You Lie To Save A Friendship
12-07-2015 at 02:57 PM
Category: Leadership

I recently was faced with a rather challenging situation with a friend whom I have done business with in the past. He asked if I could help him with a particular project he was working on. It was a big project for his business and time was of the essence. 

In my past business dealings with him, getting paid in a timely manner has been difficult, even when the time frame was agreed upon before the work started. This has put a bit of a strain on our friendship. I have resolved to let the past go, enjoy the friendship, and just not do any more work for them.

The challenge? He asked if I was available to help him with this big project on a particular day. I had the time available, and wanted to help, but I am tired of having to chase him down for payment and put more strain on our friendship. So I’m faced with a choice.

Choice #1: Lie. Tell him I am busy, my schedule is full, I’m not available, etc. It’s easy and I am not faced with dealing with choice #2.

Choice #2: Tell him the truth. The hard truth. The truth is, I value our friendship and this issue on the business side is damaging to that relationship.

What would you do?

Lie! What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,right? It is so much easier than taking the risk of telling him the truth. The truth is messy. He is not likely to change his business habits (based on past experience). I may even lose the friendship. So why bother going down that road?

Here’s why going down the road of choice #2 is a better idea.

* It takes more energy to continue “dodging the issue” and having to come up with excuses when he asks if I can help him out.
* I violate my own integrity by having to lie - no matter how small that lie may be.
* I am not acting very loving toward my friend if I don’t speak the truth. Love demands that I speak honestly.
* I’m not doing him any favors by lying. He may not even be aware that this behavior is causing a strain on our friendship. You can’t fix what you don’t know needs fixing.

So, which choice did I make? Stay tuned…

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